trendymatt's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like the difference between Equal and sugar. Never before have I realized what an effect responsibility can have on a person. Just one day short of two weeks on the new job, and I already feel a slight change in my personality for the better. Now that I am the person giving out assignments and coordinating schedules, I can hardly believe that less than two weeks ago I was on the receiving end of such orders. I can now go home at night and feel as if I have accomplished something. Every thing I check off from my weekly "to-do" list gives me just enough of a boost to start taking care of the next item. And on the occasional evenings when I bring work home with me, I am eager to finish it, as that means I will have more time for more urgent matters the next day... and the hour of comp time I can add to my time sheet is a pretty good perk as well. I suppose my previous job gave me a sense of artificial adulthood. I had an office cubicle, a regular paycheck, health insurance, and paid taxes. But somehow, I felt like a kid playing grown-up the whole time I was there. I'm not sure what it is, but something in the transition to my new job took out the artificial element to my adulthood. This feeling of responsibility is slowly feeding into my private life as well. After a pretty stressful day involving a dead car battery (and a helpful buddy who was willing to volunteer her car and a set of jumper cables, even though they weren't needed in the end), I laid in bed last night and came to a realization. That was the first time I have ever dealt with a car problem myself. The thought to call home for a quick solution or for extra cash didn't even occur to me. I simply got the Yellow Pages book off the shelf and started calling around to see what needed to be done and did it. To some people, these things might be second nature. For me, it is all proof that after all these years, I am finally coming into my own. It's about time. All in all, I finally am starting to feel stable after too many years of a delayed teenage drama phase. On my birthday last week, I didn't feel my age. Somehow the pieces have all begun to fall in place in the past week. Here's hoping they stay that way. 9:13 am - 10.28.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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