trendymatt's Diaryland
Diary
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Lunch break at the Improv.
Among other things, my coworkers are known for telling horrendously corny and/or vaguely off-color jokes. Some tell them for the obvious humor-kitsch factor, while others honestly believe their jokes are funny. Here are a few recent gems: - "Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Control freak, now you say 'control freak who?'"Admittedly, that was one of mine. Hello, my name is Matt, and I'm a cornaholic. - A little boy asked his dad one night before bed, "Dad, can I have a bike?" The dad replied "Son, I have a $100,000 mortgage to pay and bills I can't even afford. I really can't get you a bike right now." So, the son goes to bed disappointed and wakes up in the middle of the night to hear some strange noises coming from his parents' room. He walked down the hall to listen in on what was going on through the bedroom door.
The boy heard his dad say very sternly, "I'm pulling out," and his mom quickly reply, "Not yet, I'm coming too."
Fast forward to the next morning, Mom and Dad are eating breakfast when the son comes downstairs with two over-stuffed suitcases. "Where are you going, Son?" Dad asked.
The boy replied, obviously pissed off, "If y'all are gonna leave without me, I'll be damned if I get stuck with the mortgage and bills. I'm outta here."That was a decent one, told by Meredith. - But this is my favorite... though it helps to read it out loud:
A guy goes in to see his therapist one week and seems really concerned: "I don't know what's up, Doctor. I have this recurring nightmare where I turn into a wigwam, then a tee-pee, then a wigwam, then a tee-pee, all night until I wake up. What gives?" The doctor looked up from his notes and replied very matter-of-factly, "It's painfully obvious... you're just two tents." ...two tents? Too tense? Anyone? Is this thing on?
So, yeah, I'm working with a group of regular Jerry Seinfelds. It's always a good time.
2:32 pm - 09.16.04
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