trendymatt's Diaryland Diary

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\"...and the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.\"

I logged onto the evil chat site tonight. Why, I'm not entirely sure. But among the dirty old men and guys who can't spell to save their lives, I ended up chatting for an hour with an interesting, intelligent guy. He's also 23, newly out to some of his friends and honestly scared to death. We chatted for a long time about what it's like to be gay, the nature of male friendships, and family lives, with general small talk interspersed. When it was time for us to log off, he said that I helped him to feel a little better about where he is in life and that, while ours isn't necessarily the easiest path to take, it is still worthwhile.

Before you ask, there is no intention (or possibility) of he and I meeting. And I will probably never hear from him again. But just talking to this guy about his life made me realize that in many respects, my life is so much better than I make it out to be. The past year has been both a great pleasure and a rigorous test for me, in terms of self discovery, personal relationships, and dealing with my family. It's up to me to make the most of those experiences and take what lessons I can from them.

He thanked me for talking to him tonight, when really it should have been me thanking him. He made me realize that I should spend less time trying to plan my life out, agonizing over details I have no control over and put more energy into simply living.

It's funny, how an online community with the reputation of being a meat market can occasionally bring out the good in people. Consider that one more lesson learned.

1:16 am - 09.05.03

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