trendymatt's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If it isn't Scottish, it's CRAP! Ah, the annual Month of Allergy Hell is once again upon me. Until sometime in early October, anyone who sees me will not see the Trendy One they have come to know and appreciate. No, you will instead see a puffy-faced, swollen-eyed, irritable little boy with mucus flowing out of every possible facial orifice. I truly am a sight to behold, folks. In an effort to curb the effects of Allergy Hell, I drove out to the late night drug store to find something - anything - that will lessen my symptoms and let me enjoy just one night of sleep. In this quest, I rediscovered one of my favorite characters I have ever encountered in my time inhabiting this city: the Mulleted Scotsman. The Mulleted Scotsman usually works the late shift at Walgreen's, and is quite possibly one of the most outgoing people I have ever come across. The first time I came across him, I was escorting one of my female friends to the store around midnight when I lived in the dorms. The Mulleted Scotsman all but propositioned her for a night of wild, passionate monkey sex through clever usage of various limericks and tasteless one-liners. And tonight was no exception. With his Scottish lilt and the breeze from the automatic sliding doors rippling through his sparse, but still mulleted hair, The Mulleted Scotsman was doing his best to impress two blonde co-eds in front of me. I got in line in time to hear the following gems from our international cassanova: "What do you call a dog with no rear legs and a set of steel testicles? Sparky." "Two potatoes are standing on a streetcorner. How can you tell which one is a prostitute? It's the one that says 'I Da Ho.'" "What do you call one brunette prostitute and three blonde prostitutes standing in line? Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks." I can only ascertain from The Mulleted Scotsman's technique that he is tragically single. But he's got game. He's definitely got game. 11:19 pm - 09.02.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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