trendymatt's Diaryland Diary

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The calm before the storm?

The Pumpkin Show was a hell of a lot of fun. Picture it, hundreds of thousands of people converge upon a small midwestern town and consume mass quantities of various fried foods and soak up the hometown atmosphere. It was great. I quickly learned that Meredith grew up in a world of wealth and Abercrombie boys, so other than the obvious feeling of social and physical inadequacy, it was a good time all around.

So, do you remember the time I was bemoaning the fact that I dumped a great guy and realized I was an asshole to him? Over a few e-mails and a great phone conversation I've managed to start the process of reconciliation, so it's lifted a pretty big weight off my shoulders. We're meeting for lunch tomorrow, which will be the first time we've seen each other since early June. I'm not sure what will come of this. Maybe we'll end up being good friends. Maybe we'll realize that the whole thing really wasn't meant to be after all. Maybe we'll end up buying a Saab and moving to a big house in the country together. Maybe I'm making entirely too much of the situation. Who knows? I just know that I have to really give this one a shot, otherwise I'll always regret the "one that got away." And if it takes me eating a super-size portion of crow to have that opportunity, then so be it.

For the record, I have never before openly admitted fault for anything of consequence in my life. Ever. This is major stuff, kids.

Of course, this isn't the time for me to consider entering even the most casual of relationships, given my work schedule. I have just about every minute of every day planned until after Thanksgiving. With judicious use of coffee, caffeine pills, and the occasional nap, I just might make it through.

Considering I have a good bit of stress mounting in my life, I've found myself strangely calm this past week. I don't know if it's the weather, the annual life evaluation I inevitably give myself on my birthday every year, or just the promise of gaining an hour of sleep with the time zone change next week. Whatever it is, I hope it lasts through at least Thanksgiving weekend. I'm starting to enjoy productivity at work without giving myself ulcers.

1:02 am - 10.26.04

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