The Clorox Ready Mop and Mr. Clean Magic Eraser have rocked my world. I found myself giggling maniacally as I scrubbed the nastiness from my kitchen sink last night.
The cops have been having their fun arresting Mexicans in and around my apartment building recently. I woke up around two in the morning last week to a blue strobe lights bouncing off my walls. It was as if I woke up in a bad disco.
I am a judge for the new season of Diary Survivor. Some of you may remember my surprising long stay on last year's island. Remember when I was clever and funny?
I administered surveys to a bunch of ninth grade kids on Friday. I forgot just how young high school freshmen are. I swear some of them still had the soft spots on their heads.
My coworkers are celebrating my birthday a week early today, which means I get to have a free lunch and a festive banner tacked to my cubicle. Oh, how I love the working world.
Really, does anyone remember when I was clever and funny?
For only one more week will the Blink 182 lyric "nobody likes you when you're twenty-three" apply to me.
Some students in my department are throwing a going away karaoke party for me on Thursday. Once they witness my smashing rendition of "Baby Got Back, they will really regret losing me.
It's raining outside and I washed my car yesterday. I'm a friggin' genius.