trendymatt's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, this is what depression feels like Thirty-three days??? Is that seriously how long I've gone without updating? Man, I'm really slippin'. I would have updated at some point in the last month, but I really wouldn't have had anything of value to say. I've been stressed out at work, dealing with the family, digging myself deeper into debt, and generally deteriorating as a person as of late. My once large social circle has dwindled down to 2-3 people, depending on the week. I don't know what the deal is, but somehow in the last year I have just turned into a bitter, unhappy person. I get pissed off way too easily, am annoyed by the slightest things, and have just turned incredibly lazy. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night, go to work, then come home and nap for a few hours just to settle in front of the tv and repeat the cycle the next day. On the weekends I spend 75 percent of the day in my bedroom watching reruns on HGTV and surfing the 'net. This is so not how I would have pictured my life a year from now. Jesus, I'm turning into my dad. And dating? We're not even going to touch that subject. I've been telling myself recently that I'd be completely happy if I could just be in a satisfying long-term relationship, but nobody wants to date somebody who is generally pissed off the majority of the time. I've got to work on myself a hell of a lot before I'll be ready to seriously start dating again. So, yeah, that's why I haven't been here in a while. If I had, you would have been reading shit like this about every other day. I'll be back sometime soon, hopefully in a better mood. Until then, I'll be watching infomercials. Score. 2:57 am - 12.12.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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