trendymatt's Diaryland
Diary
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I can barely type \"turkey\" without getting queasy.
And so I have been reduced to this, sneaking into my office on a Sunday night to get my D-Land fix. There is help for me out there, I'm sure. Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I feel, among other things, very bloated. I spent the extended weekend with Mom, my aunt Lynne, and crotchety grandmother, none of whom seem to ever eat. Thus, I made it my mission to rid the house of all leftovers before I vacated this afternoon. Mission: accomplished, aside from a deviled egg that has been in the fridge since Wednesday. I have some standards. Over the course of four days spent at the homestead, I discovered what I like to call The Undeniable Truths of a Visit Home: 1. Nothing is quite as comforting as the unique smell of the house you were raised in. For me, this smell is a combination of Febreeze and Mom's Estee Lauder perfume.
2. No matter how much you may have snacked on the drive home, you must survey the entire kitchen to ensure that there are enough snack foods on hand for at least one day of television watching. In my case, I had to trek to the Food Lion shortly after my arrival to get the proper rations.
3. However long your visit lasts, halfway through you will start to yearn for the comforts of your now familiar surroundings. Knowing that the nearest Starbuck's was roughly 75 miles away (save for a lame Barnes & Noble pseudo-SBux in E'town) had me fidgeting by late Friday.
4. If you come from a small town, it is inevitable that the one time you go out to the store looking like shit will be the time that the few successful members of your high school graduating class will be there as well. Which reminds me, I have four years of working out to do before my ten-year reunion. Gotta get crackin' on that one.
5. Nothing is more uncomfortable than running into one of your best friends from middle school while she has her three rugrats in tow. "Me? Well, I live alone and spend my evenings and weekends usually dicking around and occasionally getting plastered. Nope, I've never been waken up at three in the morning to calm a crying baby. There was that one time my friend came to crash on my futon and puked in my toilet, though..." There simply isn't anything I could have said that didn't make me sound like an overgrown teenager.
6. Family conflict is much easier to take when you know you will be a hundred miles away before the weekend is over.
7. Cell phones are a vital link to the outside world, but only if they get reception in the house.
8. Waking up to find all of your laundry washed and folded into tidy stacks in your laundry basket says "love." I'm not saying this happened for me, but it would've been nice. All in all, a good time was had by all. Once my internal clock is re-set to the workweek schedule, I'll be in good shape.
9:37 pm - 11.30.03
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